Perspective. Personally, I find it to be a bitch of a reality, mostly because I want mine to always be the “right” one. But, since it seems two or more people can look at the exact same thing, and each see something entirely different, that surely isn’t always the case.
But I’m right, dammit! Unfortunately, by way of reality, approximate representation prevails, and I have no choice but to recognize that in most situations, my point-of-view is just that – mine, and one of potentially many.
This doesn’t suggest that my own way of thinking or doing is wrong, only that it is one of many different ways of thinking or doing. And, for humility’s sake, I have to admit that just because it’s my way doesn’t necessarily make it the right way either, although I want to stomp my feet and scream and shout the error in that thinking.
Still, if a relationship – any kind of relationship, whether with our other, our kid, or our cat – can teach us anything at all, this little lesson ought to be shouted out like a fog horn blasting through a megaphone aimed at a microphone in an amphitheater: Perspective, we all got one. And because another person’s opposes our own, doesn’t necessarily make one right and the other wrong, just different.
I’ve learned this lesson time and again in my life, forgetting at every turn as my own personal bullshit gets in the way of the end-all-be-all- the win, the heavy golden belt at the end of the bloodied event- whether such a manipulative result was inadvertent from the start or otherwise. And it’s usually not, rather it’s just me being a human being like anyone else- wanting to be heard, wanting my own opinions and emotions to be attended to.
Instead, considering the perspective of another requires humility, and who wants that? Humility bites; necessitating a recognition of our own fallibility, and coming to a true understanding that our own viewpoint is not the only one, and that we may be every bit as right as we may be wrong.
Still, when perspective and humility come together, good things happen. Bridges are more likely to be built, the gaps in the tills close up. The truth is, perspective can be a gift – something to learn from, sometimes, as is the case for so many of us humanoids, over and over and over again.
We can’t possibly understand and accept all things from every Jane or John – especially given that we are each veritably different people, experiencing life through the lenses of our own experiences and circumstances – let alone our individual genetic makeup. But considering perspective reminds us to attempt to do so- to attempt humility, and to recognize that even a tangible object will appear different depending on where you stand as you view it.
Yesterday, while on a walk with my friend, I told him I believed that at 42, I was too old to have money problems, as he pointed out to me that we were passing by a 60+ year old homeless man napping on a park bench, his garbage bag filled with clothes a ready pillow. Humility: Bam. Perspective: Mother fuckin’ boom. And suddenly, things appeared a little different to me.
And so this is life: life is perspective. And the beauty of it is marrying our own with those we may have not considered before – or even attempted to understand through the ignorance of our own life story. Our ignorance doesn’t make us bad, just unaware, but through this process is learning, and understanding – or at the very least coming to respect something different, and, hopefully, always, always becoming.
It ain’t easy- and sometimes it down right sucks balls, but it assists in what some may call growth. But sometimes, unfortunately, learning can be hard work. And taking our lumps can be a real son-of-a-bitch- something that can take a bit of time to really process and implement into our lives. But, we do what we can.
And, with any luck at all, those moments of processing and implementing become few and far between as time marches on. And please, by the way, don’t be making any connections between sucking balls & growth, People. Fucking pervs.